Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (240)

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths

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  (240): She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths http://tfl.nu/lqw0
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  ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday

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  (240): ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday http://tfl.nu/ci9y
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  SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP

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  (240): SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP http://tfl.nu/udxy
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  I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!

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  OMG! Ew.

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  Lucky Dad.

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  (240): I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one! (301): OMG! Ew. (240): Lucky Dad. http://tfl.nu/dv3r
  Replies (29) Good night (601) Bad night (2678)
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  oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.

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  (240): oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie. http://tfl.nu/8aj5
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  He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.

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  (240): He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at. http://tfl.nu/i197
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  she was so not down for the gang bang

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  (240): she was so not down for the gang bang http://tfl.nu/snu1
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  9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook

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  it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.

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  (240): 9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook (301): it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly. http://tfl.nu/trii
  Replies (14) Good night (549) Bad night (3224)
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  Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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  (240): Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP http://tfl.nu/rq2g
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  She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.

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  (240): She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text. http://tfl.nu/g6ne
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  I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob

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  (240): I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob http://tfl.nu/qz5h
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  Did I run away from you last night?

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  Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship

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  (757): Did I run away from you last night? (240): Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship http://tfl.nu/2q6b
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (165)
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  how did your night go?

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  he asked for my myspace name.

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  (240): how did your night go? (336): he asked for my myspace name. http://tfl.nu/ulv6
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (2818)
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  She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...

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  (240): She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room... http://tfl.nu/pp22
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  Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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  (240): Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use. http://tfl.nu/hbuk
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