I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.