So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
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it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.