Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro