hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.