Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (902)

Last Night in Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia (902)

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Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.

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(902): Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/c874

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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

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the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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(506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv

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I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired

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(902): I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired http://tfl.nu/suui

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I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.

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(902): I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/vppz

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Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

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(902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/j9u3

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Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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(902): Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left. http://tfl.nu/ytq9

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did you fuck him yet?

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hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?

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(902): did you fuck him yet? (1-902): hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun? http://tfl.nu/r4bc

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It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.

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(902): It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies. http://tfl.nu/tvv6

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he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..

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(902): he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us.. http://tfl.nu/wn2b

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He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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(902): He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock. http://tfl.nu/ce76

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i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now

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(902): i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now http://tfl.nu/uxyj

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he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...

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(902): he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style... http://tfl.nu/4o8k

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WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!

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I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.

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I love tequila.

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(902): WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?! (1-902): I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey. (1-902): I love tequila. http://tfl.nu/s92h

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Sharpest. Poop. Ever.

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(902): Sharpest. Poop. Ever. http://tfl.nu/efzq

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How did people poop without Blackberrys?

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Motorola Razers?

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Stone age, man.

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(902): How did people poop without Blackberrys? (416): Motorola Razers? (902): Stone age, man. http://tfl.nu/a751

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Last Night in Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia (902)

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