Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis