she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.