He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.