Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Follow @tfln