Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
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did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget