Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (216)

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  he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out

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  so is it as big as he says?

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  he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit

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  (216): he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out (513): so is it as big as he says? (216): he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit http://tfl.nu/hksl
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  you turned your livingroom into a bong?

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  (216): you turned your livingroom into a bong? http://tfl.nu/pj3a
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  Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?

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  Probably.

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  I'm in.

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  (216): Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word? (440): Probably. (216): I'm in. http://tfl.nu/bl31
  Replies (14) Good night (4048) Bad night (388)
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  make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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  (216): make any headway on the foot/dick situation? http://tfl.nu/ein6
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  let's bang

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  You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.

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  (216): let's bang (773): You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no. http://tfl.nu/cr4i
  Replies (68) Good night (1274) Bad night (6222)
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  Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?

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  (216): Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon? http://tfl.nu/iu1h
  Replies (19) Good night (630) Bad night (1320) Order T-Shirt
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  i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.

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  (216): i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers. http://tfl.nu/za5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2750) Bad night (419)
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  We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

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  (216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif
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  My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

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  (216): My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand. http://tfl.nu/h0pi
  Replies (27) Good night (778) Bad night (5785) Order T-Shirt
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  you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses

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  (216): you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses http://tfl.nu/p89j
  Replies (20) Good night (2521) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

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  i'd get off the bar first.

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  (216): my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing? (1-216): i'd get off the bar first. http://tfl.nu/xsi2
  Replies (18) Good night (595) Bad night (2774) Order T-Shirt
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  He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.

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  (216): He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract. http://tfl.nu/wrx8
  Replies (26) Good night (593) Bad night (2809) Order T-Shirt
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  ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?

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  (216): ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex? http://tfl.nu/h39u
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  guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight

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  (216): guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight http://tfl.nu/30xi
  Replies (16) Good night (4278) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  thus making me awesome and them whores

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  (216): thus making me awesome and them whores http://tfl.nu/kdn8
  Replies (14) Good night (3155) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt