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he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
thus making me awesome and them whores
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