And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move