Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.