Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend