Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
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Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
what is it with giant penises always finding me