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I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
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