Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.