When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber