Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping