In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How does it feel to date your dad?