I broke a rule
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?