Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off