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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You may now shotgun with the bride
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
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