Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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  (610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac
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  THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER

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  I'm officially in the Christmas spirit

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  (610): THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER (1-610): I'm officially in the Christmas spirit http://tfl.nu/grxs
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  You may now shotgun with the bride

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  (610): You may now shotgun with the bride http://tfl.nu/3bw7
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  you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"

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  our poor poor cab driver

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  (267): you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight" (610): our poor poor cab driver http://tfl.nu/cgof
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  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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  (610): You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now. http://tfl.nu/4au1
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  Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups

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  (610): Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups http://tfl.nu/eisr
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  Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.

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  (610): Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls. http://tfl.nu/zc4i
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  he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him

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  possibly by boat

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  (610): he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him (610): possibly by boat http://tfl.nu/q00b
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  you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop

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  (610): you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop http://tfl.nu/ld3s
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  I drink to make the karaoke go away.

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  (610): I drink to make the karaoke go away. http://tfl.nu/0jio
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  Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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  (610): Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life. http://tfl.nu/zjcc
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  There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"

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  (610): There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division" http://tfl.nu/egg0
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  porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.

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  (610): porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy. http://tfl.nu/gke1
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  At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people

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  (610): At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people http://tfl.nu/kwkh
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  I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?

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  Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?

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  (908): I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember? (610): Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead? http://tfl.nu/yv69
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