My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table