You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal