Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.