Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus