After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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