I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
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Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
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he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?