He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
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I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.