duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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