Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (479)

Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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(479): View more from Arkansas

So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Haha. Niice.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

(307): View more from Wyoming

both.

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(479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3

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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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(417): I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka (479): I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once http://tfl.nu/xq51

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(479): View more from Arkansas

She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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(479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.

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(479): Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out. http://tfl.nu/6ock

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.

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(479): You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it. http://tfl.nu/l6w1

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(479): View more from Arkansas

everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

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(479): everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers (1-479): trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/b3n0

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.

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(479): Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/trmx

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

How have you survived this long?

(479): View more from Arkansas

Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.

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(479): Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever. (1-479): How have you survived this long? (479): Dumb luck and a deal with the devil. http://tfl.nu/0es8

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(479): View more from Arkansas

We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe

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(479): We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe http://tfl.nu/vo7i

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Did you go home with that guy without me?

(479): View more from Arkansas

Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car

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(919): Did you go home with that guy without me? (479): Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car http://tfl.nu/ua1d

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.

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(479): You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money. http://tfl.nu/ged1

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(479): View more from Arkansas

If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.

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(479): If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough. http://tfl.nu/qsaq

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(479): View more from Arkansas

That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.

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(479): That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story. http://tfl.nu/a5zg

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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(479): Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes. http://tfl.nu/b7x1

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

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(479): I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better http://tfl.nu/bldt

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Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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