Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.

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  (479): Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students. http://tfl.nu/ij14
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  He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.

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  (479): He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave. http://tfl.nu/idj5
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  Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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  (479): Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits. http://tfl.nu/uo57
  Replies (13) Good night (493) Bad night (2948)
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  How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.

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  (479): How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her. http://tfl.nu/z3i9
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  New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

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  (479): New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways. http://tfl.nu/3d1m
  Replies (42) Good night (765) Bad night (2619) Order T-Shirt
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  Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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  (479): Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships. http://tfl.nu/he2q
  Replies (69) Good night (1644) Bad night (2607)
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  In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.

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  (479): In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony. http://tfl.nu/h4yi
  Replies (11) Good night (667) Bad night (2435) Order T-Shirt
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  if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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  (479): if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey http://tfl.nu/i09e
  Replies (16) Good night (961) Bad night (2235) Order T-Shirt
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  Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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  (479): Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE. http://tfl.nu/evb8
  Replies (10) Good night (547) Bad night (2147) Order T-Shirt
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  he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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  (479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp
  Replies (19) Good night (963) Bad night (2117)
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  Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.

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  (479): Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs. http://tfl.nu/zkx1
  Replies (13) Good night (2771) Bad night (2030)
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  This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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  (479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko
  Replies (26) Good night (837) Bad night (1619)
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  even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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  (479): even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit... http://tfl.nu/fzja
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  He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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  (479): He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/fwy9
  Replies (7) Good night (522) Bad night (1365) Order T-Shirt
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  Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient

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  (479): Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient http://tfl.nu/pvik
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (1274) Order T-Shirt