Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (347)

Last Night in New York (347)

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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.

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(347): Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm. http://tfl.nu/3ccq

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THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.

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(347): THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI. http://tfl.nu/yt9w

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That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.

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(347): That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where. http://tfl.nu/6uae

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you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.

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(347): you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking. http://tfl.nu/78bt

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All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

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What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.

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(718): All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND." (347): What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls. http://tfl.nu/5x5n

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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

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That does not seem like timing

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(347): The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is? (973): That does not seem like timing http://tfl.nu/n0dp

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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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(347): I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/c9pc

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cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever

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The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer

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(718): cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever (347): The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer http://tfl.nu/lzsh

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WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA

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(347): WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA http://tfl.nu/6u80

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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life

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(347): maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life http://tfl.nu/rmnc

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Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.

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(347): Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds. http://tfl.nu/v5xi

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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?

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(347): I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay? http://tfl.nu/bmfn

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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

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I can't even drink.

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The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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(646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa

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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.

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(347): She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school. http://tfl.nu/qubm

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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.

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(347): It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow. http://tfl.nu/mzdk

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Last Night in New York (347)

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