Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot