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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
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