Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.