He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that