He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that