when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...