when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...