I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's never too late to be topless.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday