Texts From Last Night · simba615's Favorites

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simba615's Favorites Texts:

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

Fav 2 1348 610
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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.

Fav 5 1400 656
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(970): View more from Colorado

You can't spell "party" without "RA."

(1-970): View more from Colorado

You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."

Fav 4 1126 699
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(678): View more from Georgia

You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.

(404): View more from Georgia

I'm a corrupt cop.

Fav 4 2185 814
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(443): View more from Maryland

You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober

Fav 4 1227 606
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(516): View more from New York

Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

Fav 16 3299 910
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(815): View more from Illinois

i don't really know how much tequila is too much

Fav 16 4725 1985
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(815): View more from Illinois

When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome

Fav 6 2238 625
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