Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I checked into jail on foursquare
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
