I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.