I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.