sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...