Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.