Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...