Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...