On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long