Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom