Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine