Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine