I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww