he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.