it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year