You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party