The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.