He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test