my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.