you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.