you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker