I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize