I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it