How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me